I want to first preface this blog post with an immense amount of gratitude for my family and friends who have shown up in BIG ways for me, particularly in the last five years. My thirties have been some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. I have learned lessons that I never wanted to learn, but God felt was necessary to my development of character, virtue, and overall formation of the person I am today. I have not been alone or isolated in my hardships, as many women in my life have experienced similar trials before and after me. I am thankful for these women, their vulnerability and shared experience. In a lot of ways we have helped each other heal and realize that we are not defined by these tribulations; they have given us grit and a clearer understanding on life, our purpose, and the beauty that often follows disappointment. Love to you all!
I have always known I wanted to be a mom. As the oldest of four, growing up I was frequently referred to as “second mom” by my siblings. My mom was primarily a stay at home mom; she picked up the occasional PRN day shift at a nearby hospital, thus I grew up with an abundance of her time and attention. Looking back now it is not lost on me that this was an invaluable gift I received and one I wanted to give my future family.
I have spent the last 13 years of my life as a high school English teacher and cheer coach and much of my identity has been wrapped up in these two roles. It wasn’t until my husband and I were married last June and I officially became a step-mom to two adorable little ones that have captured my heart (and time) in the best of ways that I started to question what I wanted my next chapter to look like. My husband and I knew very early on we were serious about creating a family together and that it would involve some changes and tough decisions to be made; the biggest one being my contribution to our new and growing family… oh yeah, did I mention we found out I was pregnant a month after our wedding?! It was definitely in the plans, we just didn’t think it would happen as quickly as it did.
It was July and school would be starting in a few weeks. I was elated with the news of my pregnancy, but also saddened by what this would mean for my teaching career. I wrestled internally with wanting both but knowing I didn’t have the emotional or physical capacity – something would give and it would either be at the expense of my children or my students. You can argue with me all you want, but it’s true. Both are extremely time consuming jobs when done right and I have the last 6 months of doing both whole-heartedly to prove it. I know many women who do both SO well and I applaud them, but I can’t help but think to myself Do they get enough sleep? Do they have time to workout? Do they split household responsibilities with their husbands? Are they happy doing both?
After many serious talks, my husband and I came to the conclusion that having me stay home would be best for our family at this phase of life. We realize that our kids need me more than my students do right now and that’s okay. I’ve given my students and athletes the best of me for 13 years and I’m ready to embrace change and motherhood fully. I am not losing my identity, but rather, I’m creating a new one. I know just how fortunate we are to be in the financial situation to make this change and that this is not the case for many American families. We too, will be living more frugally in the years to come but we are up for the challenge and excited to see the flexibility and peace that it will bring to our family.
As for “work”, I think I’ll stay plenty busy with kids, a house and husband. I also intend to join the auction planning committee at my current school and take on more volunteer opportunities. Who knows what the future will bring; I am keeping an open mind! I know God has given me talents that have made me successful in the workplace, and I am excited to use those for the betterment of my family, friends, and community. I want to thank my school family, past and present, for the shared memories, lessons and value you have added to my life. I will miss the classroom and all of you tremendously!
As I exit the world of teaching I think I’m about to embark on my greatest lesson plan yet. I hope my children and family come to understand the gift of time and that it’s the only thing in life we really can’t buy more of.
Love,
Ericka
